I TELL STORIES.

Born in Texas, raised in Tennessee. I am a Southerner with no discernible accent. Some people call me Fiver. A friend and I once spent three hours in a tree because a moose was mad at us. Moose are more dangerous than bears but not as dangerous as hippopotami. Alone, I built an igloo and survived three days in -30 degree weather. I have been on the outside of a speeding car. I like people and being around them, especially really smart ones. I was on a central London train on 07/07/05. I think that the only thing separating Hemingway and Bukowski is twenty years and a college education. I have saved a man's life. I believe anything is possible if you don't care who gets the credit. I'd like to ride my bike to Patagonia. You want me on your pub quiz team. I wish I could see my favorite movies over again with different actors. The amount I've paid in parking fines equals the GDP of a small, island nation. I think country music tells really good stories. Ich habe 150mph auf der Autobahn gefahren. I am loyal to a fault. I cannot pass a dog without speaking to it. Oh, and I've been hit in the head by a golf ball.

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